Comics that are about me for 500

toothpastefordinner.com

The King

Chicken salad is the king of sandwiches, and don't even try to argue with me.

Excellent news, or, Father's Day part 2

Today my aunt told my sister that when my dad was 10, he drew the Batman logo onto a round piece of glass and stuck it on a flashlight so that it flashed the Batsignal.

About an hour ago, my sister and I called my dad and this story is now CONFIRMED.

Annie are you okay?

So MJ's dead, and my immediate reaction was.... what? A blankness. I'm not sure how I feel, or what I think. I feel a general sadness at death, but nothing deep. It's been a strange day.

Happy Father's Day

I must have been... 8 or 9. I admitted out loud to my dad that I kind of wanted the new Kriss Kross album. My dad stopped what what he was doing, looked me straight in the eye, and said "That's garbage."

Thanks, dad.

Keeping fit, having fun

On a lighter note, I met Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod today. I told them they are a Canadian treasure.

Sometimes, you need to pull a Will Smith.

I don't like to get too political on here. But seriously?

'Raising children properly' requires stay-at-home parent: Alberta minister

Haaayyy-ell no.

M.B.

I can't think of anything else to record on my album past the first song... ideas? (Serious ideas only, as much as I would love to put a cover of Prince's Batdance.)

Hot mess

Sometimes when I cycle, I get off my bike at a red light and run to hit the pedestrian walk button so that the light will change faster. I did that yesterday, but I hit the button at the wrong angle, and so hard, that my hand hurt for the rest of the day and now has a huge bruise. Earlier that day, I messed up a grilled cheese sandwich.

the best of us can find happiness in misery.

Well, I've fallen hard for Fall Out Boy. At this rate, no one should be concerned about my complete ignorance of Radiohead, who I'm scheduled to start liking in my mid-40s.

Vegas throwback

When I was in Vegas a few months ago, I filled out a card in a store to get a free Nylon magazine sent to my address. I doubted it would work, me living in Canada and all, but today I received a copy of the July 2009 issue with Karen O on the cover. Neat! Addressed to my middle name, just like I filled out. I totally recommend using your middle name in instances where you think your name and contact info may be sold or otherwise passed along.

As if you could outrun it.

Recipe for a successful RPattztival:

• How to Be
• Harry Potter and the Gobbo of Fire
• Twilight
• lots of snacks
• amazing friends with dirty, dirty mouths

I love you guys.

Exercise credits

www.marriedtothesea.com

Work emails

*explanation of work problem*

L: "What would James T. Kirk do?"

H: "Kirk would have sex with everyone, and then pilot the Enterprise to safety at the last second. Spock would assist."

L: "I need Kirk to help me with this. He would definitely have sex with the answer. Especially if it was green."

don't judge me

*phone click*

HMVKP: "HMV Kildonan Place"
H: "Hi, do you have the Twilight DVD in stock?"
HMVKP: "Yes we do, we have lots of copies!"
H: "How much is it?"
HMVKP: "$19.99"
H: "...Okay, I'm coming to buy it right now... DON'T JUDGE ME"
HMVKP: *giggles*

fakeout

It seems like just yesterday I found out Buscemi was a fake... probably because it was yesterday. Aww.

To boldly go...

It's a fact

It's a fact: if you have too many hobbies, you will neglect most of them.

Glory Pants

There is a hole in my heart.

Why did Steve Buscemi delete his Twitter? I didn't even have the chance to get someone with a Twitter to tweet him a photo of the jeans that I screen-printed his face onto.

I am... doll parts

Taken at another waste disposal ground:

Fortunate

Had a fortune cookie on Monday with not one, but 3 fortunes:

Someone is watching you from afar.

Edward?

You will soon gain something you have always desired.

EDWARD?

Your lucky number for this week is nine.

What?! What a rip-off. They already give you lucky numbers on the back...

Home sweet home / Christmas fun

Taken at a waste disposal ground (aka "the dump") in rural MB a few days ago.

Reasons people hate Twilight

NPG

No, not New Power Generation - this is a note to J that they extended the Northeast Pioneers Greenway all the way to McI! (This is in lieu of me not responding to your letter yet.)

Blog!

Blog! I've missed you! I'll try my best not to ever break you again.

(For those unaware, I maxed out my monthly bandwidth limit due to rampant Twilight macro and animated gif posting. I'll be more careful now.)

About a year ago, I got a letter from my bank pre-approving me a ginormous credit line, $10G or something insane like that. I didn't partake, because I didn't want it. Today, I got a letter from my same bank with a fabulous offer that I bring my proof of salary down to the bank because I could potentially qualify for a line of credit. Oh, how times have changed.

1/4-life crises

Welcome to Your Quarterlife Crisis

I'm pretty happy, most of the time... but sometimes, I can't help but wondering... is this it? Or is there "more to life than than this..."

I am the walrus?

Never before have I felt the urge to join the Twitter so strongly... once I discovered that He is on it.

Throwback

This concert review pretty much says it all. I'm glad I went, but I'm equally glad I didn't pay for a ticket. The social I went to afterward was tons more fun, even though I had to take the sketchy 18 N.M. to get there.

Edward Cullen: Making husbands jealous since 1918

"Is Teddy Cullen going to finish your basement, or change your oil, or make you dinner? No. He's going to stand there, and watch you sleep."

My chair

... I fell off it.

Twilight Edward Body Shimmer

And if you didn't know what to put in my Easter Basket, now you know.

CHEESEBURGERS

'Twilight' DVD: Best of Robert Pattinson's audio commentary

I would strongly suggest not reading the above in public in case you wet yourself laughing.

Update

Last night during Earth Hour, I watched our new TV in the dark. Then a friend came over and we went to Blockbuster. It looked closed, because they turned out the sign's light for Earth Hour, but it was actually open (obviously, being Saturday night and all). Blockbuster was out of Quantum of Solace, which B wanted badly to see and I was vaguely interested in seeing only because we have a bigger TV, so my friend and I rented Synecdoche. It was confusing, but kind of neat, and didn't flip me out as bad as that one time I saw Mulholland Drive, so I'm feeling optimistically neutral about the whole experience.

I have jewellery issues. For me, jewellery has to mean something. It has to be given to me as a gift, or represent some time that I did something and bought some jewellery to commemorate it. I am also am unable to wear jewellery on top of clothes. So unless my neck is showing, I don't wear a necklace. And thirdly, I've always been preoccupied with symmetry, so much so that I insisted on parting my hair down the middle until I was in my early twenties.

The winter is lasting a little longer than average, which I hope just means I'll appreciate positive temperatures that much more when they arrive. Mother Nature is some kind of witch this year. "April Fools!! You're getting more snow."


Then again, the ShamWow Guy hit a prostitute, so I feel like I really don't even know this world I live in, at all.

May I present

Hayley Williams: HBIC

Stepping back a moment

"He wants my chocolate bar!"

The End

I went to a book store straight after work, to buy the fourth Twilight book, because I knew I would finish the third Twilight book tonight, without having yet borrowed the fourth, and I'd have nothing to turn to.

I feel like the last week has been a dream. I haven't been sleeping well. I need to finish this off already, so I can get on with my life, though it has been ridiculously fun and I haven't been able to stop smiling and feeling all... warm.

Besides, the sooner I finish it, the less chance I have of accidentally spoiling myself. I find it difficult to keep away from the endings of movies and tv show plots when the internet is just so plentiful.

Jumping the wagon

Sitings of fake celebrities on the bus

Yesterday - young Topher Grace
Today - Dick Cheney's... mmm... I'm going to say half-brother.

Twilight

Someone better have a movie party... and invite me...

Side note - when I was young, I named my bike. I named it Twilight Chocolate Marble Blueberry Cheesecake. So maybe I really was destined to read these books.

And maybe I should get over myself and just read those stupid Harry Potter books already, too.

Stop looking at me, Swan

I read the first Twilight book. Someone at work lent me the first two in the series.

I became quite engrossed in it and did enjoy reading it. It's an interesting story, especially since I traditionally stay far away from science-y fiction of any sort. I usually stick to c. lit, which I can finish in a day or two, return to the library, and get on with my life.

I'm inclined to agree with Stephen King on the writing style. I was stifling laughter for the first half of the book due to the sentence structure. It is semi-colon city; it's time to split some - probably most - of those babies into two sentences already.

The solo short sentence in one paragraph can also hit the trails.

I'm probably out of my element in even discussing this, based on my educational background, but it just seemed like a weird way to create drama. (If you're interested to see what I'm talking about, a draft of the first novel, re-written from the perspective of the vampire boy, was leaked to the internet.)

At the same time, these books weren't written with my age bracket in mind. Teenagers (and pre-teens?) probably think and write like that. I believe I suffered a short love affair with semi-colons back then myself, so I guess I'm being too harsh.

And because the books weren't written with my age bracket in mind... I have a feeling the plot is going to avoid certain elements and I may find myself searching the WPL for vampire novels written for, uh, adults, shall I say. I know there's a glut of Twlight fan fiction on the internet, but I'm hesitant to look at it after the terrible, terrible fan fiction I've read in the past. I once found a fan fiction story for Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants and the plot summary said that one of the girl's sisters gets mugged at an Olive Garden. Seriously, an Olive Garden.

Fear and Loathing and Baked Goods

I went to LV with my partner for 7 days, in celebration of his birthday. We spent the first 3 days at a NASCAR race. It was pretty fun. I got a funnel cake, and some kettle corn. I bought a pink hat, having decided to cheer for the best-looking driver, who not-so-coincidentally has a lot of pink merchandise for girls just like me. He often wins races too, so that's a plus, I didn't buy a hat from a loser driver. The main race on the third day zipped along quite well and had a good finish.

The next 4 days creeped by. Yes, I said creeped. We had a lot of fun experiences, but by the tail end, we were sick of paying exorbitant prices for half-hour long exhibits and any food outside of McDonalds, sick of salespeople hounding us at every corner, sick of walking four thousand miles to get anywhere, and for me, just plain sick. I got a sore throat on the second day of the race weekend and spent the whole week coughing up a lung, which may have been second hand smoker's cough, the dry air and higher altitude, an actual illness, or some combination of the above.

In spite of our collective complaining, we had a lot of fun. We saw Carrot Top at the Luxor and it was incredibly funny. We laughed our asses off and kept repeating the gags and one-liners all week. We also saw the Blue Man Group which was extremely entertaining, though my heart rate didn't slow down until I was sure the show was over and the Blue Men weren't going to pull me on stage. (Once, during a concert in elementary school, a guest singer put a microphone in front of my face to sing a line from a song and I refused to open my mouth. Forced audience participation is not my thing.)

The main thing that I'll repeat from my partner's Facebook description of our trip is the joke that Carrot Top made about our hotel - "Have you guys seen the Excalibur? I had to walk through it to get to New York New York - it was like walking through Jersey! What a dump!" The basement of the hotel consisted of a 4-D Sponge Bob ride and "Fantasy Faire", which consisted of a handful of crappy games that Ruckers would have rejected. I wouldn't recommend staying there. I wouldn't even recommend entering the building. Just admire the turrets and you're good.

We also went to see the Bodies exhibit. I made sure to comment in the guestbook that I felt uncomfortable (though obviously still saw the exhibit so not THAT uncomfortable) after having previously read on the internet that the bodies may have been victims of humans rights violations. I chose to avoid the room with the fetuses, which B confirms was the right decision to make.

The wax museum was fun. The best photo we took was of my partner with "Britney Spears", which I'm sure you've seen on my Fbook by now.

I bought a bunch of clothes from Charlotte Russe at the Outlet Mall. I like that store. I checked out H&M but didn't see anything worth trying on. I did see a shirt that I had seen the day before at CR, for $10 more. I like the clothes I bought, but once the exchange rate went through on my credit card, the prices weren't so outlet anymore.

There is a double decker bus that travels the whole Strip, from Fremont Street to the Outlet Mall. The bus is part of a line called "The Deuce" and when you ride them, they have booming female voiceovers explaining every aspect of riding, like how much it costs for various usages (one way, 3-day, etc), not to eat, how to go up and down the stairs, AND when to breathe in and out (ha, ha). It was a little annoying to wait for the bus to load up us slow-moving tourists at each stop, but it was mostly a very efficient to travel across the Strip (well... more efficient than walking, at least). Whenever it stopped, the voice shouted "Ride the Deuce!" and eventually I really wanted the voice to be one of those cartoony radio station IDs, complete with sound effects. "You're riding The Deuce. the deuce. THE DEUUUUCE!" At one stop, someone argued with the driver for about ten minutes after having tried to use $21 to buy 3 x $7 passes for 3 people. Which would be fine except that ticket machine at the front of the bus, that accepts the money and spits out the passes, very clearly indicates that it DOESN'T GIVE CHANGE.

We stood in front of ti (Treasure Island's newer, funner name) waiting for the pirate show, twice, and both nights, it was cancelled due to high winds. I think I'm going to look it up on YouTube, because I bet I can find it there, and I don't even have to ride the Deuce to see it, or wait in the cold wind to hear that it's cancelled.

We went to M&M world, which is a great place to pay $12/pound for one colour of M&M and to see a barely functioning 3-D movie staring the red and yellow Ms and a live actor whose accent I couldn't decipher. Coke World, or whatever it was called, actually had some nice stuff. I got lip gloss that smells like grape Fanta, though I'm a little disappointed because the store sold scratch-and-sniff shirts that smelled like "grape fanta", but to me they smelled like grape hubba bubba, which gave me an intense flashback to being in elementary school. The lip gloss doesn't smell as strongly as the shirt did.

I wish we had stayed at the Venetian, because that hotel is gorgeous. The Bellagio is also very nice, though we tried to check its 24-hour conservatory and it was under seasonal renovation. What kind of conservatory changes out the plants for the season? How is that conserving anything? Anyway, the Venetian is hooked up to an even nicer, pricier hotel called the Palazzo, and the bathroom at the Palazzo casino is the nicest bathroom I have ever had the pleasure of peeing in. I was almost hesitant to sully it with my presence.

In particular, St. Mark's Square in the shopping mall at the Venetian had a living statue, and free shows with opera singers in costume. I don't think I'd ever buy an opera cd, but listening to those ladies belt just shattered my pre-conceptions of opera. I got goose pimples listening to those voices. I'd listen to opera, live, in the future, if I came across the chance. It was fun to just sit and watch the living statue, as well. Those two things are some of my stand out memories.

I went to a Bouchon Bakery kiosk at the Venetian twice, both times for pain au chocolat. The second time was our last night there, and I carried it in its little box all the way to the airport and home with me, to eat the next morning. It was everything I ever hoped it could taste like. Though the conservatory at the Bellagio was closed, the hike to the hotel was worth it because I found the Jean-Philippe Patisserie, photos below. Little desserts like that just melt my heart to bits. I nearly cried.









Our hotel did have a Krispy Kreme, whose donuts are lighter than Tim Ho's, and dare I say, due to the lightness, tastier. (Please don't hurt me.) Perhaps it is the lightness of the donuts that causes many people to order a box of donuts, either themselves or as a couple, and eat the whole box for breakfast. I usually had the $1 fruit and yogurt from McD's and a hashbrown, and my partner usually did the McD breakfast meal, which was way more economical (and less disgusting) than a $12 buffet. We occasionally topped off breakfast with a donut each, but I can't imagine eating a box of donuts for breakfast, or any time. The thought continues to blow my mind.

I read numerous references to the greatness of the Burger Bar (New York Times, guidebooks, LV magazines...), but the burgers were nothing but sub-par. My turkey burger was dry, and my partner's mini burgers were nothing special. None of the food we ate there was great, except for the bakery goods. It's probably good that I haven't discovered a French bakery at home yet, or I'd lose my job because I'd be drowning in fancy desserts every day intsead of going to work.

The Truth

I am hyper aware of how accessible this blog is. I write knowing that my coworkers and potential future employers, my relatives, and the ghosts of junior high past can read any of it, and read into it however they like. I sometimes get frustrated, and wish I could speak more candidly (and repeat what I say in the RW), but manage to restrain myself, for the most part. Sometimes I have to make old posts disappear.

If I want to always speak freely, I could try to the option of an anonymous blog, but that hasn't worked for me in the past. It's hard to share an anonymous blog with people and expect all of them to treat it as a secret, and it's hard personally for me to refrain from referencing the many aspects of RL that might easily give me away to anyone willing to surf and do some digging.

Therefore, I've come up with a potential alternative. If you'd like to receive the alternate text to what I post on my blog, the extra garbage that doesn't go up for public consumption, please send me an email request. I already strongly suspect the members of the crowd that is going to email, so maybe this is more of an "I miss you guys, message me" type of post.

S.G.

Sometimes I wonder why it took me so long to discover Soundgarden... and then I remember it's because I hate Black Hole Sun, a song which is about 12 minutes too long.

Flavour country

Last night, my partner put together dinner. It was pretty simple, some pasta, salad, and fried mushrooms with garlic, but honestly, those mushrooms with garlic were the best thing I'd tasted... ever... and I couldn't stop thinking about them, so I made more tonight. I downed them before I even started on my big salad, which I'm still working on while I catch up with two episodes of Ugly Betty online before the new episode on real TV.

In regards to my big salad... I was previously following Jamie Oliver's basic recipe for oil and vinegar dressing, something like a 3:1 ratio, whisked, with some salt and pepper and sugar mixed in based on my basic knowledge that oil and vinegar dressing has those things. Then, I happened upon Jean Pare's recipe in her Salads book today - 4:3 ratio of sugar to vinegar, whisked until it dissolves, and then an equal amount of oil (7?). Mmm... now that's flavour country. It's even a little sweet for me, which is saying a lot because I'd essentially drink straight maple syrup if it was socially acceptable.

I have been chasing my salad down with Minute Maid fruit punch, vintage last night from concentrate. I detect notes of cherry, Shoal Lake, and red #5. (I may not drink, but I'm addicted to reading wine reviews.)

Want

I want my sister to publish coffee table books with her photos.

Also, I want Rusty Cage by Soundgarden to pour through my body like light through Neo at the end of Matrix Revolutions.

The truth

The truth is that I don't so much want to travel Europe (esp. France) because of the history... nearly as much as I want to stuff my face with cheese and pain au chocolat and see some different scenery. I'm very interested in a few key things that I've always wanted to see (Anne Frank House, the main junk in France), but my husband is very interested in Germany, and the thought of visiting a concentration camp makes me want to hurl. I can't even stand watching the military channel...

NKOTB

I just can't justify spending $50, even though I've been waiting to see them since Grade 2. And even though I'm not against the idea of going by myself, I don't want to pay $50, AND go by myself. Maybe by the time April rolls around, some seats will open up, and I'll change my mind.

QOTD

"I like it that winter forces us to turn inward." Isabel Allende

Tore up

I'm pretty sure this is the longest lasting cold I've ever had, but it's finally starting to wind down. My nose feels more tore up than Kate Moss (ha ha???)

Mom to the rescue

I've been sick since Wednesday. My mom's about to bring over some homemade chicken soup and I am going to roast some garlic and eat that on bread and drink tea with lemon.

Oh, and I'm messed up on DayQuil. (And by messed up, I mean, I took some and it appears to be working, a little.) Can't wait until later tonight when I get reacquainted with DQ's partner, NyQuil which knocks me out for the night, but only when I haven't had a 3-hour nap in the afternoon (which I haven't today, so we're gooood). Hey, I've never partaken in any recreational drugs (alcohol included), so I've got to get my kicks where I can.

I've been feeling really guilty about staying home from work, because I'm not so sick that I can't get out of bed and get dressed. It's stupid to feel that way, though, because I'm still coughing a lot, I have sick days, and work isn't busy right now. I don't like when people come to work sick and cough all over the photocopier buttons, so I should extend my coworkers the same courtesy.

HOME

(A little too much focus on the south end in this one... someone with film skills ought to make me Henderson version)